Thursday mornings on the Karen and Ralphie morning show, Karen gives some personal advice. It’s ask Karen! From problems big and small, Karen gives her take on life, love, work and everything in between! If you’re interested in asking Karen a question, click here.
The Question
Dear Karen,
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We are on the same page about getting engaged and getting married. So there are no problems there. We get along great.
My boyfriend had recently mentioned that when he proposes it’ll be a surprise (which is fine) but he also mentioned something about passing down his grandmother’s engagement ring. I understand about being sentimental and I love that…but honestly I want my own ring. I don’t want to sound insensitive but a while ago I saw his grandmother’s ring. I didn’t like it and to top it all off she was divorced so I feel like the ring is jinxed.
How do I tell him all this before he proposes?
Heather in Bourne
Karen’s Answer
Hi Heather,
First off congratulations on your impending engagement. I have to say you’re in a little bit of a sticky situation. Your boyfriend probably adored his grandmother and that may be one reason why he wants you to have her ring. The other reason could be finances. He may not be able to afford a new ring. Either way this puts you in a bit of a bind.
Having been engaged and married…I do know how exciting it is to get the ring of your dreams. I actually drew a picture of the type of ring I wanted for my husband and of course I cut out pictures of engagement rings out of magazines to show him.
If you think about either of these scenarios (sentimentality and cost) maybe you’ll realize one of them may pertain to your boyfriend.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with you steering him in the right direction. It may mean waiting longer to get engaged because he may have to save longer to buy you the ring of your dreams.
You may want to compromise. Tell him you understand that your grandmother’s ring is sentimental and suggest you keep the stone and change the setting. That may be a good compromise.
Just remember though…in the end…the kind of man you’re marrying means so much more than the ring.
Karen
Disclaimer:
The advice offered in this column is intended for entertainment purposes only. Use of this column not intended to replace or substitute for any professional, financial, medical, legal, or other professional advice. If you have specific concerns or a situation in which you require professional, psychological or medical help, you should consult with an appropriately trained and qualified specialist. The opinions or views expressed in this column are not intended to treat or diagnose; nor are they meant to replace the treatment and care that you may be receiving from a licensed professional, physician or mental health professional. This column, its author, and its company are not responsible for the outcome or results of following any advice in any given situation. You, and only you, are completely responsible for your actions.
